May 18, 2010

A Tenacity Notes subscriber reports

“I got your packet of cards. Thanks for sending them. I’d been in the thick of a conflict with my husband. I kept going over and over in my mind my list of grievances against him, and it’s a list that goes back decades. Then I drew a card from your pack. It was #20, from December 8, 2009. In it, you suggest that I ask if this thing I’m doing is something that I’d like another to do towards me.

Would I like my husband to keep a list of his grievances against me and go over and over them in his mind? Duh, no! That very same day, (cue the woo-woo music) your next Tenacity Notes came in the mail. In that, you suggest that I ask myself, “What do I want?” [April 27] So now, every time I start replaying that damnable list, I stop and ask myself what kind of relationship I want. Then, instead of trying to get him to be who I think he should be in order for me to get what I want, I try to be who I need to be in order to have the relationship I want (as you also taught me). What a difference! It’s clear sailing now!

Thanks for Tenacity Notes. Thanks for making the packet. Thanks for suggesting how I might use them. This is very helpful.”