#358 Assumptions

Here’s something else I’ve discovered is worthy of stalking—assumptions. I’ve been stalking my beliefs for 30 years, and I thought I was pretty good at it. Lately, however, I’ve been inspired to stalk my assumptions.

Oh my goodness! Gadzooks! Crikey! Assumptions galore! I wonder what percentage of my thinking has been taken up with assumptions. Not an insignificant percent, I can tell you that. I’ll tell you something else—I’m discovering that a lot of my assumptions are negative, as in judgmental and not nice. Here’s an example: I’m driving, and another driver does something unsafe. Say he passes me in a no passing zone (an all too common occurrence where I live). I automatically assume he’s a jerk. A dangerous, self-righteous jerk. An arrogant jerk. You get the picture? (and you sing, “Yes, we see.”)(Granted, many of you won’t get the musical allusion. Here’s a clue: vroom, vroom.)

Of course, I could make the assumption that he got confused, or that he’s racing to the hospital, or… But all assumptions are false narratives that serve to insulate us from something that makes us vulnerable—the truth of our felt emotions. And as you know (because I’ve told you!) vulnerability is our birthright. To insulate ourselves from vulnerability is to insulate ourselves from ourselves.
I’m learning, instead of making assumptions about anything, to instead say, “I feel _____.”
And here’s another gift assumptions offer—they rise out of beliefs. In that way, my assumptions serve as signal fires (!) guiding me to beliefs I haven’t yet caught. They help me uncover beliefs that can be released. Of course, releasing beliefs takes us again to vulnerability—which is a topic for another day.